Before I ever thought about being Spanish - or despising my own country!
Growing up in the rolling green countryside of her majesty’s realm, I used to think of England as the most boring place in the world. With its dreary winters, pie and football weekends and the occasional trip to a fecal-streaked park, I couldn’t wait to get out and leave that dullness behind.
Then in my early twenties I had the chance to live abroad in the US. Suddenly I found that I began clinging to my Englishness, defending the land of my birth with patrimonial fury, like never before. That was of course short-lived though! Coming back to Britain a year later I hated it with more rancor than ever.
But now that I’m in Spain I’m being tested all over again. The Spanish and the English? That’s a somewhat interesting prospect. If you ask me the question, which would I rather be? I’d definitely have to mull over.
Here’s my attempt at evaluating the two sides facing off to the death in a battle over language, culture, food, business and more. Just to help vindicate my opinion I’ll throw in a bit of extra reading from some cool bloggers that I dig too. Do you agree with the victor?
Spanish Language Vs English Language
Grammatically speaking, getting into English is like slipping on a comfy (yet holey) pair of slippers. Speaking in the past tense is straightforward and there’s no tricky subjunctive prompting you to trip over your tongue. Spanish and English are perhaps more similar than they care to admit, but, for the sheer delicateness of sound I’m going to pip for Spanish. There’s nothing like a good old fashioned English c*nt though despite Wild Junket’s recommendations! I still haven’t found a Spanish word that compares to that…
Winner: Spanish
Spanish Food Vs English Food
Spaniards will tell you that they have the best cuisine in the world yet while it’s good it certainly isn’t the best. Yeah you get free tapas in places like Granada – and I’m certainly not complaining about that – yet most of it is the same old fried shit you see served up in every bar. Travel to any English city or town and there’s a lot more variation – you can pretty much get anything. Due to the fact I didn’t see a single Indian restaurant in Extremadura, I’d say England’s got the edge on food (it’s easier to be a vegetarian too). Don’t believe me? Check out Neil of Backpacks and Bunkbeds affirmations.
Winner: English
Spanish Looks Vs English Looks
Spanish people are a pretty attractive bunch I have to admit. Every so often I do get a bit of the queer eye and the average Spanish man gets me swooning. They always seem better turned out than the big bellied, tattooed, skin-headed English men. As for the women? Yeah, I’d say they are also generally prettier (they don’t beat the Icelandic mind, those damn sexy vixens). Can I be even more dangerous here and say that the Spaniards seem a lot thinner than us Brits too! I’m sure Erin from La Tortuga Viajera would testify to their hotness – she married one after all!
Your typical English guy. Hello ladies...
Winner: Spanish
Spanish Nightlife Vs English Nightlife
Last time in England I couldn’t go out at night without seeing some thick-headed twat mouthing off and trying to batter another. In Spain it’s totally different. There’s a general sense of “togetherness” and people seem to handle their alcohol a lot better (perhaps drinking less helps). Since being here I haven’t seen a single fight (except for a scuffle in a Malaga casino) and I’ve always felt way safer walking the streets alone in the small hours. The bars are better too – people can actually dance and do so without getting wasted! Want to see just how good it is? Check out Lindsay’s post on A Luxury Travel Blog.
Winner: Spanish
Spanish Sport Vs English Sport
I’m probably going to get crucified for saying this but look at this country. They are World and European champions of football for a reason. They’re confident and they’ve got the skills to back it up. They’re bloody good at basketball and handball too and have got a fair few world-class athletes set to compete in 2012. Yeah La Liga’s got their fare share of primadonna’s but unlike their Premier League counterparts they deliver. There’s definitely something to be said for winning. Blondie at World Endz has got that Spanish winning edge, check out her post on the San Silvestre Vallacano marathon.
Winner: Spanish
Spanish Business Vs English Business
Spain’s play now, work later attitude is probably one of the main reasons they’re as financially fucked as they are right now. The “hasta la manaña” attitude just doesn’t fly well in the face of successful business in the times of economic crisis. The English are way ahead of them in this regard and much more creative when it comes down to new business models and actually creating services of worth to the people. Yeah local transport might be poor, but the English, for the most part, at least know how to run and market their businesses. Just look at Spain’s aversion to the Internet. Their old style of “we only do business face-to-face that yields immediate results” is crippling small businesses in the face of global competition. Don’t believe just how incredulous the Spanish can be in terms of business and organisation? Check out Memoirs of a Young Adventuress’ post on her experiences as an auxiliare.
Winner: English
The Spanish way of doing business - complete with can of Estrella
Spanish Apartments Vs English Apartments
I haven’t lived in a Spanish apartment yet where I couldn’t hear my roommate taking a dump through the paper-thin walls. In the winter they’re bloody freezing and calling a handyman in to do a good job is something akin to attempting to end all world wars and global poverty. Nigh on impossible. Give me an English flat (at a good rental rate ha!) and I’d take it over a Spanish one any day. Check out Annie’s frustrations hunting for a place here in Granada on DIWYY.
Winner: English
Spanish Family Vs English Family
Everyone prattles on about how Spanish families are so strong yet people don’t consider how bloody impinging they are too. Your average Spanish person is so closeted by their family that the thought of ever leaving them for a long stretch of time gets a similar reaction to asking someone to commit murder. I’m all for family, but telling me you can’t leave Spain because your parents can’t handle it as a 25-year-old? You have to be kidding right? Check out Nueva Andalucia’s post on just how bad Spanish families can be.
Winner: English
Spanish Culture Vs English Culture
The Spanish are bloody loud, the English are bloody cold. The Spanish have fantastic cities, great nightlife and brilliant weather. The English have two or three good cities, dangerous nightlife and shitty weather. As much as our relationship deviates this one’s a no brainer. Check out Ben from Notes in Spain’s rocky love affair.
Winner: Spanish
So in conclusion? Making generalisations are great! Still I appreciate I might well ruffle some feathers with this one. The Spanish and the English? There are things I like and hate from both sides in equal amount.
Who would I rather be? I’m still undecided.
I guess I’ll have to continue my Spanish adventure a bit longer yet.
(cc-pescatello, atomicjeep)
Still yet to compare but I’m sure Spanish will be miles ahead. Total agreement about the nightlife!
Ed Rex recently posted..Funky Friday Photo: Let’s Paint London Red!
@Ed Rex Nightlife in England is just horrendous presently right? Come out to Spain and it’s actually enjoyable, like it should be. Amazing!
Great post, Will! And thanks for the inclusion!
For me, Spanish food is for sure the winner. I do miss diverse cuisines, but fortunately I love the food here so much that I am willing to see past the fact that I can’t have decent sushi on a daily basis. A necessary sacrifice, I suppose
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@Erin Thanks! Yeah I was kind of torn saying that and I bet Madrid is very good indeed (it always has been when I’ve been there) yet I had to cast mind back to Extremadura which lacks so much diversity! I was almost starving!
You are talking rubbish my friend, a complete ignorant, sorry….Extremadura’s food is magnificent. All I can tell you is get a life man…
This is fun! I have to agree with Erin re the food. I’m sure there are towns that couldn’t put together a good cup of coffee but on the whole Spain wins hands down for me!
I love this match-up. I also would have to agree that I prefer Spanish food to (in my case) American food, but mostly because I live in a city where anything “American” is relatively accessible. The food I miss the most is the stuff my mother cooks, which I suppose could be anywhere.
I agree with everything… yeah, I’m Spanish and I love the Spanish food but I agree with you that if you look for variety cuisines or vegetarian food here you are fucked.
One thing that made me laugh was the family part… I think I kill my family every time I decide to leave the country and words like “rootless” and “abandon” appear quite often lately since I told I was leaving home again…
One little disagreement though… the looks… nope… this latin or hispanic look, that kind of macho type…urgh. Not for my liking
María Ortega recently posted..Great expectations (not a novel by Dickens) and great disappointments
Fantastic! I’ve been noticing that you’re a very honest writer. You don’t take sides, and you genuinely look at things from both sides.
Favourite part: “The Spanish have fantastic cities, great nightlife and brilliant weather. The English have two or three good cities, dangerous nightlife and shitty weather.”
Benjamin Spall recently posted..17 Things I’ve Never Told You (and a Couple I’ve Mentioned Before)
Oooo I definitely follow in the English tradition on dancing…I need to get good and drunk before that’ll ever happen. Maybe it’s my nationality. I really don’t know. This article is incredibly funny, though.
femmefrugality recently posted..Tax Help for the Deaf
Jaja, I definitely did a USA vs. Spain post in the beginning. Reading this is like reliving it all over again! BTW, like the the new header!
Christine recently posted..A Hike in Jimena
@Christina Ha! I’ll have to go and check out your USA Vs Spain post now. Glad I could drag up a few memories!
Ha ha ha so true about Spanish families! I find it so weird how long Spanish kids live with their parents. I often wonder if this is another factor in Spain’s economic problems. Good post, cheers.
@Syd I think it’s a fair statement but it is of course a generalization and things are changing constantly here! Thanks for commenting!
I dont understand why is bad to have a closeted relation with your family.. i mean if you love them and have a great relation with them is normal miss them if you have to live abroad. For me is too sad having a distant relation with your parents, and only talking or visiting on holidays… but im a spaniard so…
But i dont know, leaving your parents living alone in a different country far from their grandchildren..is not natural for me..and one day im gonna be old and i hope to be surrounded by a big family with lots of grandchildrens and not dying alone with my family far away from me.
@Maria It’s not bad at all actually I think it’s a great thing. The point I’m trying to make is that sometimes the “Spanish family” can be so overbearing that they stop their kids from realizing certain dreams i.e. travelling abroad. So many people have told me they can’t do things because there “family wouldn’t like that” or because “it’s too far from their family”. It’s a strange concept for me.
Thanks for sharing your comments though and I love that the Spanish family unit is strong!
Good call, first person I’ve heard (read) to say that tapas are a load of bollocks.
We struggled to find vegetarian food in Spain, after hearing good things about the food. Our tapas experienced mainly involved a bit of yesterday omelette being brought out from underneath the bar.
Andrew recently posted..#3652012 Project – A Year In Photos
It’s really interesting to find out how people from other countries see us…
I completely agree with you about spanish families; sometimes you get relly fed up with that attitude. I mean: you feel like if you were their prisoner. However when you have relatives abroad you miss them dreadfuly. My brother has just had a daughter… he comes back to spain once a year for two or three weeks… That little girl will be a littel unknown for us, we know about her existence, and appreciate her, but we don’t lLOVE her because we don’t know her… don’t you think that’s a pity?
I know my english is awful, but i try to do my best.
Arabella recently posted..GIPSY SPAIN
Hi Will,
Very enjoyable blog to read! Thank you for the mention, not a very nice post though…but was very true and not nice to see.
We also left our 9-5 in London and don’t regret it one bit. Seen a lot of changes in our 9 years here. Every so often have a crave for London.
Enjoy Yourself!
Jo
@Jo Shame about what happened to you Jo but brave of you to share your experience! Glad your enjoying MySpanishAdventure.com – great to see you guys are still going strong after all that time. Buena suerte!
Nice post! I agree with some points and disagree with others … but then life would be boring if we all thought the same!
Just one comparison you did not mention … rate the “coolness” of the two country’s national dances … ie. Morris Dancing v Flamenco … where does your vote lie there?
@Lisa Thanks for your comment! Glad to see I can still cause some controversy over on this ‘ere blog!
Hahah
Here I’d prefer the Spanish Side 
Cheers
Dear Will.
Unless it is some sort of pun, in my (non-native) opinion, shouldn’t it be
‘Whose side are you on’?
You’re right! I’m sticking with the Spanish…