A dilettante, a rebel and an exceedingly talented wordsmith I am. A pornographer I am not. Yet despite all the flack that comes with running a popular travel sex website (hint: not the one you’re reading now), I still have absolutely no problems tackling the kind of questions that travellers, and people similar to me (young guys), coming to Spain, want to know about.
And despite being indisposed myself, as I’ve well pointed out, the question is still one that I’ve pondered:
What do Spanish women really think of us British men?
So aside from jumping on one of the next flights to Tenerife, knocking back the sangria and carpet bombing every “chica” in sight of course, how is this question expected to reach a satisfactory denouement? Basically it’s dead before we even start right? As generalisations never bode well in the public domain.
Still, that being said, that doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun eh? And with this being My Spanish Adventure (and me being your hapless guide to life in Spain), we’re going to go right ahead and generalise anyway. Because life’s like that. You can’t stop the bad shit from happening.
Luckily for me though – and one of the perks of having the attention of several expats and travellers at my fingertips on Facebook – I don’t have to take centre stage on this one. I asked some people I know for their thoughts instead. Because vicarious living really is the best way to live after all
The Spanish Girls
So turning to the small foreign legion I’ve muscled up and got cozy with over every bloggers two most reputable sources, Facebook and Twitter, the Spanish girls were pretty mixed in their reactions as to how Spanish women really think of us Brits.
My ex-Granada housemate, the sultry Sara Reyes, added that I shouldn’t be so silly as to generalize in the first place (but not after telling me how much she loves foreigners first though ) and that for her little punky ass she added, “the question matters not where the person is from, but rather the content of their personality”.
A proper little Martin Luther King that one…
And aside from Sarah I then had Maria, my ex-Spanish teacher, tell me that Spanish women’s opinions differ greatly from each other but that she, personally, has never fallen hook, line and sinker for us socks-in-sandal wearing folk. Still there was some recompense, as she added that those English men “who’ve traveled widely and had a lot of contact for foreign cultures” might still fare well in the eyes of moreno princesses.
There’s hope for us yet then boys….
And finally there was Pilar who also helps to buoy us up a bit:
Personally, they know how to cook and don’t mind doing so. They are, generally, a bit less stuck in the “you do this cause you’re a woman and I do that cause I’m a man” way of thinking. They are a little bit more advanced in that way. Having said that, one or two of my male friends have looked at me in a funny way when I’ve suggested they stay home with the kids instead of their wives.
So, in my opinion, English men are not chauvinistic, but the Dutch are even less so.
And one of my Spanish female friends thinks Tony Blair is incredibly sexy, so there’s no accounting for taste!
In conclusion gents? Well, if you have big ears, can lie really well about weapons of mass destruction and make a lot of hand gestures, what are you waiting for? Get your bony little culos over here!
The Spanish Guys
So with the women having vented their spleens dry, I then tried to turn to my careless whispers to some of the men. Sadly there weren’t many so willing to step up and talk about us guiri boys aside from my old friend David, who, despite unknowingly being in love with me, told me he couldn’t possibly speak on behalf of his nations women.
Sad that. I do it every time for you British bints.
The English Guys (And Girls)
With my well of contacts from the world of Spanish ladies running dry then, I took to roping in some other lads here to give me the skinny on whether the mujeres south of our shores dig us or not.
Not surprisingly, they were only to happy to oblige.
Suave British Romeo, Simon Harris:
Based on a 25 year track record, I’d say they find us extremely sexy to start with. My Thin White Boy (thin old codger these days) was a big hit 25 years ago and I’ve had just as much success since I separated from my wife over a year ago. I think they’re attracted to the fact that we’re less peacock-strutting macho than most Spanish men and find it easier to express our feelings.
The ever-so-modest Graham Hunt:
They adore me
Archetypal English bit of rough, John Wolfendale:
Compared to my Spanish brother-in-laws there is no doubt that I am more likely to help around the house. My parents in law were astonished that I am capable of preparing a meal and help with the children. They think I am very modern.
I’m-too-sexy-for-my-trunks, Alex Bramwell:
I think they are bemused by our habit of getting drunk every time we go out. They also don’t find our complete inability to wiggle our hips very sexy. On the plus side, the British sense of humour seems to go down well.
Proper journalistic experiment this one, as you can all see.
And so with the thread remaining open on Facebook and the conversation still raging, suddenly all hell broke loose as other expat girls took their turn to muscle in and turn the debate toward that of gender, Maya Middlemiss adding:
I know that even amongst what I would describe as our pretty professional and middle class (Spanish) circle of fellow parents, gender roles within the home and earning seem very old fashioned, to the point where our equally shared parenting seems like a curious novelty. My other half is one of very few dads who usually do the school run and go to the birthday parties for example. I have friends who have jokily/enviously expressed longing for more support on the domestic front as though that’d be unthinkable for them. Even those who work (about 50%) seem to do all the housework and main role in parenting.
And Fiona Pitt-Kethley also sticking in the dagger and giving it a twist for good measure:
My son seems to do all right but he sounds Spanish.
No hope for my guiri heavy-accent there either.
Still, child-rearing and cooking aside, where do single British guys fit in the order of things? Do Spanish women really think we’re the beer swigging, English football shirt wearing hunks we know we all are? Or would they much rather stick to their own Mediterranean meat?
Answers on a perfume scented postcard sealed with a kiss please!